How naruto should have ended
by damsainx
Summary: How the first part of Naruto should have ended parody. Reviews are nice :)


**This is just a one shot so go ahead and read. And while you read, I'm going to take a chip…and eat it!**

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><p>Long ago in a distant village, I Kyubi, nine tailed master of destruction, unleashed an unprintable bijuu bomb blast. But a foolish dumbass Hokage, wearing a 25 cent coat, stepped forward to oppose me. Before my final blow struck upon him, he tore his pants and threw open a sealing jutsu and sealed me inside his son where my evil will remain unknown. Now I seek to get out of this shitty cage and destroy the village hidden in dead leaves!<p>

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><p>[FWD]<p>

A boy living in the ghetto wearing an orange jacked and orange trousers that have never been washed before was wreaking havoc in the Village by painting graffiti on the walls.

"Hey stop painting on the walls already you son of a bi#$ ch!" Said an angry bird whose eggs were painted by the ghetto boy. "Oh yea, what are you gonna do about it?" The boy asked lifting his paint brush.

"Fine then keep waiting" The bird said adjusting itself on a catapult. "Do you really think that you can-" Before he could finish the bird flew into his face and the boy scream as he fell down. "That's what you get for painting my eggs shit head!" The bird said looking at the boy fall.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

It was a dark and sunny afternoon. Naruto was in the ninja academy when a half-naked man came. "Good morning class, I came over to tell you all that every single one of you has graduated now get the fu$k out of here!"

All the children were excited as they were given their useless forehead protectors. Naruto saw that the man skipped him. "Hey what about me?" He complained. "Shut the fuck up! Bitches like you remain in school forever.

"Why does the whole world hate me?!" Naruto said running out of the class crying. "So who else hasn't gotten a forehead protector?" The teacher said completely ignoring naruto.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Hahaha iruka, now that I have this scroll that contains coca cola's secret recipe, I will take over the world!" Said a shinobi with white long hair. "Shut up you idiot! You're nothing but a rip off of sephiroth from final fantasy!" Iruka said throwing a giant shuriken at the man.

The man sighed and side stepped out of the way completely dodging the shuriken which flew around the place and stabbed Iruka on the back. "Ah I'm hit! The end is near, I guess I won't be able to watch the latest episode of SpongeBob today" He said before passing out.

"Don't worry Iruka sensei! I'm gonna save you" Naruto said revealing himself and then he made a hand gesture and multiplied himself. His clones beat up the long haired man.

"Impossible! How could I have lost?"

"It's because you forgot the secret recipe for Pepsi!"

"I don't believe it!"

"Believe it!"

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were discussing with their new teacher Kakashit. "Naruto, what is your dream in life?" He asked while reading a book on diary of a wimpy kid. "I want to become a Hokage and break the most ramen bowls eaten record!" Naruto said in a dramatic way.

"What about you Sasuke?" He said flipping a page on his book. "I want to kill my big brother for killing everyone in my clan because a friend of his beat him in a match on Fifa 13." When he said that everyone gasped. "At least he wasn't playing PES 13" Kakashi commended.

"So what is your goal in life Sakura?" He said closing the book. "I want to become the most retarded and most useless female anime character that receives no character development in over fifteen years!" She said with her eyes gleaming. "Sorry but someone has already beaten you to that" he said. "Huh, really? Who?" Sakura asked anxiously. "Orihime in bleach".

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Naruto and pals were fighting up against some dangerous shinobi known as Zabuza and his sidekick that looks like a girl, Haku. Naruto and Sasuke were currently fighting Haku while Kakashi fought Zabuza and Sakura was just there being the useless girl she was. Can naruto and pals defeat these bad guys?

Naruto trips, Haku throws needles, Sasuke gets in the way, Sasuke gets stabbed, Sasuke talks crap after awakening sharingan, Sasuke faints, Naruto gets pissed off, Haku laughs maniacally, Naruto goes super bijuu mode, Naruto gives Haku Uppercut, Hake dies, Zabuza gets shocked after seeing Haku die, Zabuza lets his guard down, Kakashi uses a thousand years of pain, Zabuza flies into the air and falls next to Haku's carcass.

"If I die, will I go to where Haku is going?" Zabuza asked facing Haku. "Bitch please, you're going to hell" Naruto said smirking at Zabuza. "Fu" Zabuza said giving naruto the finger before finally dying.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Kakashi and Guy stumbled upon two akatsuki members. "Where is the nine tails jinchuuriki" Itachi asked activating his sharingan. "Yeah, we want to capture him!" Kisame said bringing out two pokeballs. "Sorry but naruto isn't here right now and he has gone on a trip with Jiraiya to a hotel down the street but you'll never find him" Guy said.

"Oh, well since he's not here I guess we better get moving" Itachi said scratching his head. "Bye bye, make sure you drop by in my house later for tea" Kakashi said waving them bye.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Itachi and Kisame attacked Naruto and Jiraiya and they engaged in battle and then a wild Sasuke appeared. "Itachi! Prepare to die!" Sasuke said charging at itachi with Chidori. Itachi punched Sasuke and strangled him to the wall and whispered into his ears "Wanna know why you're weak? It's because you didn't eat enough vegetables!"

Itachi then let go of Sasuke and Sasuke fell to the ground Unconscious. "Now one of you should take this piece of crap away" Itachi said to naruto and Jiraiya before leaving.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Sasuke left the village to go to Orochimaru and the fifth Hokage decided to send a bunch of Genins including Naruto to get him rather than sending skilled Jounins. Naruto somehow manages to catch up to Sasuke on the valley of death.

"Sasuke…come back to konoha!" Naruto said persuading Sasuke. "No, I am staying with Orochimaru!" Sasuke said. "I guess you leave me no choice!" Naruto said before going super Kyubi four mode.

"If that's how you wanna play then fine!" Sasuke said before going cursed seal mode. Naruto made a spirit bomb rasengan and Sasuke made a nuclear bomb chidori. Their moves clashed and they destroyed the whole place.

"Oh shit! I have been defeated!" Naruto said before passing out. "Yes, I have now defeated you but don't worry, you'll beat me a few years later. Now let me bury your dead body.

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><p><strong> The end<strong>

** Special thanks to whoever reviews on this short story**

** Made in corporation with Microsoft word**

** Edited and modified by Microsoft spell check**

** The characters used in this story are trademarks of their respective companies**

** I do not own any of them**

** :)**


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